Aaron Starkey artist-2016




Sashay was born in back alleys and dive bars by Chris and Mike while they were on a wildly successful ten day tour of Japan. Sadly, that band broke up soon after the boys returned home to the United States. With nothing to do and loads of left over cash, Chris and Mike decided to throw all of their free time starting Seattle’s best Queercore band, Sashay. Chris and Mike, two veteran punks who had worked tirelessly honing there skills in Titpig and Deadkill respectively, soon started thrashing out hits in their compound in the Central District. Alas, they still didn’t have a singer or a bass player and depression began to set in and they spent all their money on drugs and burgers. After Chris got out of rehab and Mike finally got a real job a miracle fell into their lap! One day when Mike was a work he noticed tiny prostitute Vincent begging for sex outside the Melrose Market and Instantly fell in love. Sweeping up the tiny tart he ran to the practice space screaming Chris! Chris! Hark! I have found us a singer! Chris was overjoyed and soon the three of them began teaching Vincent english. After four months of hard work Vincent was finally able to speak and Chris and Mike knew it was time to find the final piece, a bass player. After a month of searching and some broken hearts the boys yet again began to receed into darkness. On one particularily drunken night the three heroes were kicked out of Pony for stealing and fighting. Standing in the freezing Seattle rain the three boys had nowhere to go. “What are we going to do now?” wailed Mike “Shut the fuck up you fucking idiot!” Chris demanded. “I have a plan.” Chris fearlessly led the boys to a scary straight bar called Bimbo’s and the heroes plopped they wet and weary asses at the bar. “what do you want to drink?’ The bartender asked as he threatened them with a knife. “Please sir.” Vincent replied. “We are just looking for a bass player for our punk band.” “Punk band!” The bartered screamed “That’s pussy shit! It’s thrash metal motherfuckers! Get the fuck out of my bar posers!” The heroes jumped up and after stealing a bottle of whiskey dashed out the door into the cold dark night. They soon found themselves in a dark alley and decided it was the best place to sleep. But, as soon as they each had their first drink of whiskey and stranger lurked out from behind a dumpster and said, “Give me some whiskey.” He said. The boys looked at each other and said. “ok.” soon the four of them were getting along famously! After an intense six hour lube wrestling battle between Chris and the stranger the boys decided they had found their bass player. The band was complete! “whats your name?” Vincent asked. “Conor.” the stranger replied as he removed his hat and graced the world with the most beautiful hair in the universe. Soon Conor was thrashing out songs with the boys and his decades of having been the front may for Holy Ghost Revival, finally paid off. As word spread of this super band they became so insanely world famous they were forced into hiding, only making appearances in the dreams of fledgling gays. It is said that if you turn all the lights of in your bathroom, stare into the mirror and twerk while singing the words to Atackla by Russian Circles, Sashay will appear behind you wearing white cloaks and holding pictures of Kate Moss. The End